There are certain things a woman who is close to her forties and over,will hear about being single and today I am going to share with you some of those ‘catchy’ phrases. My approach is of course on the humorous side, while theirs is on the ‘helpful’ side.
You need to find a man.
Which is followed by the question,
Why can’t you find a man?
You remain silent and they jump in offering myriad explanations.
- You are too picky
Yes. That’s it. I am picky. That must be it.”There are so many men out there. You are smart and beautiful and yada yada yada”.
That of course is better than
- You are so unlucky
- You need to be more sexy. quiet, talkative, provocative, seductive or whatever other alluring adjective missing from your 40-year-old “person specifications”
- You need to take more ‘care’ of yourself
What exactly,about myself/ my appearance, do you want me to change?
- You must be doing something wrong
Wrong? What do you mean wrong? Hmm let me think about that one. Reality check ‘my friend’. I am being me.
Something is wrong with you
See if you are forty and single then something MUST be wrong with you. Like c’mon. You have met so many people. You must have met someone by now. What IS wrong with you?
You choose the wrong men.
Maybe I did/have but then again so do 50% of the divorced couples. You see I can say I am divorced minus the marriage.
Now time for a GOOD ones (this coming from the mean girls/boys)
You are never going to find a man at this age.
Do you think you are getting any younger?
How are you gonna have babies?
OK! Fair point but then again, there are ways,you know the one about the birds and the bees?
Don’t you want to settle down and have kids?
Hmmm. I guess I don’t.
You need to act your age
Aka you shouldn’t be going out till late, you should have a purpose in life, why are you wasting your life?
You long-lost friend sees you after many, many years. The conversation goes something like this:
So!! How are you?
Oh! I am great thanks. So are you married? Kids?
Ummm. Nope and nope.
Oh! OR Oh! Don’t worry, you will find someone.
I will find someone…… “in a bag of chips” as we say in Greece.
Then this one which is supposed to be funny.
You are gonna die alone with your bags/shoes/dogs/cats etc.
Followed once more by the
You must be doing something wrong.
Well, I am a bag lady , so I will have my bags. Dunno about the rest of you lovelies. Guess what though,
I am happy and single. Gimme a break.
What do you think? Have I forgotten anything? Don’t forget to follow this blog or me somewhere, somehow (check the sidebar on how to ‘connect’).