How to tell your loved ones … they suck (#Blogmas day 7)

 I went to the movies the other day and saw a French film called Margaret (that’s the English translation of the Greek French translation. Heheheh). It was about a woman who was bubbly and lovely, and thought she could sing for the opera, but she couldn’t. Her voice was terrible and no one would tell her. She then decided she wanted to sing in front of a big audience and the people around her let her, because they thought that would make her happy. I am not going to tell you what happened in the end you should watch the movie (this is based on a true story by the way). I didn’t like the movie, or actually not the movie per se, but the sentiment in the movie. To me, the message was, if you love someone who loves doing something (thinks they are talented at something), it’s not always the best idea to tell them that they are not good at it. Just let them do their thing even if that means that others might make fun of them. It’s like saying, ” Let your loved ones  do their thing”  but is that always the best way to go?Christmas pic 1

How supportive is being supportive?

Yes, you need to help our loved ones follow their creative dreams. Yes, you need to support them. Show admiration etc. etc, but what if a loved one is terrible at something and thinks they are fabulous? Do you lie just for the sake of being supportive?

Hmmmmm

Nope. You gotta be truthful.

Why should someone tell you you ain’t that great ( in a nice way?)

Well, our loved ones can be passionate about many things and because they are passionate, they cannot really see how bad they are at them. It’s like falling in love, only this time you are in love with what you are doing. ❤ ❤

Me, me, me

Take me for example, I love blogging, drawing, and singing. I am passionate about them. I even think I am good at them (toot toot aka totting my own horn). The other day though my friend told me that yes, my painting is nice, but I need to improve my proportions. Thank you!! That helps me. I will keep on doing what I love, putting myself out there, but I want you, the person who cares for me, to tell me when I am not doing something well and give me ideas on how to become better.

I don’t want my people to completely shatter my dreams and make me feel horrible (cause that is not being honest or constructive, it’s being mean), but if I am doing something that I love and I shouldn’t be going tooooooooooooooooo public with it. Tell me!!! Help me become better. I will still be driven and love the things I love, but I will be careful, I will try to find ways to improve. It is OK to burst my pink little bubble.  Living in LaLa Land is grand, but for how long? (For dramatic purposes I am using the word suck. Reader discretion is advised. Do not use the word ‘suck’ when talking to someone you love).

How to give your loved ones constructive feedback about their talents/ the things they love.

There is a thing we teachers call sandwich feedback.  That’s how we give feedback to our kids.

What you do is:

Say something nice.

Say what needs to be improved.

Say something nice again.

OR  say,

You do this….

You don’t do this….

Maybe you need to do this…..

sandwich feedback.jpg

Final thoughts

Giving a loved one constructive feedback doesn’t mean that they will stop what they are doing.That’s not why you give constructive feedback. It is just a way for you to help them to become better. Even if you hurt their ego a bit, in the long run they will thank you cause if they take your (genuine) advice only good things will come.

So, as Christmas is right around the corner and everyone is lovey-dovey, just give your loved one a helping hand and be truthful/ be constructive. Help them hone their talents.

Follow my blog if you enjoyed this post (maybe even subscribe?). I am @mypinkrambles on Instagram and Twitter. Do feel free to leave a comment below. I would love to hear what you think.

See ya tomorrow.

xx

10 thoughts on “How to tell your loved ones … they suck (#Blogmas day 7)

  1. That is so true and important. My friends are very brutally honest hahaha! They’d just go, “yeah, no, honey, you suck. Go and bake some cookies!” I know they love me, though, so it’s good to sometimes get a little perspective. :p

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Chels! Thanks for stopping by.
      I think if you want to help someone out, the only way to go is by giving constructive feedback, not being negativite but being constructive.
      xx Jo

      Like

  2. I completely disagree with this… There’s no nice way to tell someone you love they’re not good at something, and honestly, it’s not our place to do so. If someone you loved told you you weren’t good at blogging, you’d probably be pretty hurt. I know I would be. I guess I just think the old rule “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all” applies here.

    Like

    • Hi Esther,
      Thanks for stopping by. I prefer to be told that I am not good at something by someone who loves me than thinking I am good at something and being laughed at/ridiculed. Yes, I’d be hurt, but I would try to do something about it. I dunno. I don’t really think it has to do with saying something nice, I am more on the if someone who loveds me won’t tell me the truth, then who will? But, we are all allowed an opinion and we are free to disagree :). Thanks again xx

      Like

  3. This can definitely be a tricky situation! I think you are spot on though, sandwiching the constructive criticism between 2 positive things, and being specific with what can help!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s