#Blogmas day 6: meltdown-ing

Are Capricorns having a bad weekend or is it just me? Yesterday, I had a great day. I did a bit of shopping, pampering and going out. Whilst I was out though I started talking about age and what the meaning of life is. I am turning 40 in January and I started wondering about my life. Don’t get me wrong. I am content. Kinda happy.

Reasons to feel happy

I have accomplished a lot in terms of work, I have studied quite a bit, I make a good living. I am healthy (kinda), I have a great family and friends, who love me, so why do I still want more? Is it cause I am single? Will a man make me happy or will he add to the ” Oh man why did he do that?”. I am old and I do not compromise any more. What about my biological clock? When on earth will it start ticking? I feel no need to have a kid (and I know some people are going to start rolling their eyes- sowie guys but no tick tock here). I actually blame the latter on the fact that I am a teacher and I am around kids all day long. So over cocktails last night I had my first melt down ( for dramatic purposes only I am using the word meltdown).

paris trees

Meltdown numero duo

So, today I woke up and felt like a happy planner. I started planning, used my stickers and then started feeling sorry for myself. Again. I am colourblind and while I was decorating my planner I had no idea whatsoever about the colours I was using. I always have to label stuff to know how to coordinate cause otherwise everything looks like a hot mess. So, I planned next week but then I started thinking about my day at the shops yesterday and how I was at the M.A.C counter looking at all the lipsticks without knowing what anything was. Afterwards I started thinking about how ALL cosmetic companies give their makeup random names and nothing has the name of the actual colour on it. Grrrrrrr I wanna be able to tell the difference between colours!!

My planner today

I have a headache cause of the drinks last night and well, I have been playing the song Same old love by Selena Gomez on repeat.

So, there you have it. Not having a good day today. Seriously gonna go check out my star sign now, have some lunch and feel a bit more sorry for myself. I will be fine tomorrow cause shit happens and then you get over it. I am feeling a bit better though. Thanks guys ❤

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